health

I’ve spent 20 years treading water and fear that I’ve wasted so much time. Am I depressed?

Turn your attention to your internal landscape rather than the next building project. Make your next project yourself

I’ve spent 20 years treading water and fear that I’ve wasted so much time. Am I depressed?

TL;DR

  • The author, in his late 60s, feels he has been 'treading water' for 20 years, with his finances tied to an unsellable property.
  • He experienced suicidal thoughts after his father's death, prompting him to seek therapy.
  • Therapy helped him discuss his cross-dressing with his wife, leading to partial acceptance.
  • A psychotherapist suggested his father's death might be a catalyst for re-evaluating his life and that his focus on building projects could be an avoidance of internal pain.
  • The therapist advised him to focus on his internal landscape and make himself his 'next project' rather than solely focusing on external goals like selling his house or building projects.