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January 24, 2026
Tim Dowling: the dung men are here. The tortoise is out. Surely it’s not spring already …
I see the manure sellers as part of some lost and deeply English tradition, which is why I prefer my wife to deal with them
TL;DR
- A tortoise appears suddenly after being hidden for six weeks, seemingly due to a thaw.
- The tortoise exhibits territorial behavior, observing a fight between a dog and a cat.
- Manure salesmen arrive, a biannual occurrence associated with spring and autumn.
- The narrator makes tea for the salesmen and discusses their lives while his wife is at the supermarket.
- The wife instructs the narrator to refuse the manure, but a deal is made.
- The narrator relays personal details about one of the salesmen to his wife.
- The mulched garden beds are noted as a job well done.
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