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Ambivalence by Brian Dillon review
The critic’s memoir’s is a portrait in determination to go against the grain and ‘pursue a life in words and ideas’
TL;DR
- The memoir is narrated in the third person, focusing on Brian Dillon's intellectual development and struggles during his education.
- Dillon grappled with his parents' early deaths, his passion for avant-garde music and literature, and finding his identity within academia.
- He was inspired by various authors and musicians, developing an aesthetic that celebrated androgyny and "undecidability".
- Despite facing personal turmoil, including family conflicts and loneliness, Dillon remained dedicated to pursuing a life in "words and ideas".
- The book concludes with Dillon organizing a conference, working in radio, and continuing his PhD, viewing his academic achievements with self-deprecating realism.