My Lover, the Rabbi by Wayne Koestenbaum review

April 8, 2026

TL;DR

The novel 'Will My Lover, the Rabbi' by Wayne Koestenbaum is characterized by its unconventional style and exploration of obsessive desire.
Despite a title suggesting realism, the book treats realist conventions with "exalted scorn," focusing on carnality and confusion.
The narrative structure includes 188 short chapters, many repeating the book's title, creating a mantra-like effect.
Plot elements, though set in modern America, echo 19th-century literature with themes of infidelity, illegitimacy, and interconnected relationships.
The protagonist's obsession with his rabbi lover is compared to Proust's Swann, focusing on an inexplicable attractiveness.
A central mystery involving the rabbi's deceased son fuels the plot, revealing further "vistas of unknowability."
The novel combines explicit sex scenes with a unique prose style that is both breathless and abrupt.
Key figures, the lover and the rabbi, are conspicuously nameless, referred to only by pronouns.
The ending reveals the book's broader theme: the unknowability of any object of desire and love's inability to triumph over death.

Continue reading the original article