health
Feeling off? Your secrets could be making you stressed
Researcher Valentina Bianchi says holding in information can take a mental toll. Here’s how to manage it
TL;DR
- Keeping secrets is psychologically costly and associated with negative consequences.
- A secret is defined as any information someone has resolved not to tell someone else, with intention being key.
- The average person holds 13 types of secrets, with finances, romantic desires, and sexual behaviors being commonly reported.
- Secrets impact wellbeing through spontaneous mind-wandering, which encourages negative feelings.
- Negative outcomes include stress, lower relationship satisfaction, inauthenticity, and isolation.
- People often prioritize suppressing feelings or distracting themselves to protect secrets, rather than talking to someone.
- Sharing secrets can serve social purposes, like safeguarding reputation or boosting social standing, and can act as 'glue' within groups.
- Holding onto others' secrets can be as taxing as holding one's own.
- Strategies to reduce emotional impact include talking to a professional, cognitive reappraisal, and reframing secrets as information regulation.
- The more negative people consider their secrets, the greater the negative impact and fatigue.