health
My son is moving out. I’m happy for him but I’m bereft. How can I stop feeling so terrible?
It’s OK to feel the loss, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. The fact that you do shows the devotion and care you’re capable of
TL;DR
- The parent is experiencing grief and sadness as their son moves out, feeling bereft despite knowing it's a positive step for him.
- The parent fears returning to unhappiness and is hiding the extent of their distress from their partner.
- It's normal to feel mixed emotions, and the intensity of feelings indicates the depth of love and care.
- Seeking therapy is recommended to address underlying fears about identity and happiness, rather than relying solely on reframing.
- Parents have a responsibility not to let their children bear the full weight of their emotional vulnerability.
- Practical advice includes filling one's days with personal interests and activities that were not possible when the child was home.
- The transition signifies the closing of a major life chapter and an opportunity to focus on the parent's own life.