health
I did not tell my sister that our other sister was dying. Silence was the right choice, yet murky and painful
In family estrangement, the mud and dirt gets everywhere, Kathryn Heyman writes. And it is very hard to undo what has been done
TL;DR
- The author recounts the experience of caring for her dying sister, V, who had a long battle with cancer.
- An estrangement existed between V and another sister, making it impossible to include her in family matters.
- V expressed a desire to die at home peacefully, and the author and other sisters formed a 'small army' to support her.
- During this time, the author's mother also became seriously ill and passed away.
- The author chose not to inform the estranged sister about V's critical condition or impending death, to maintain V's peace.
- This silence was deeply painful but felt like the only way to honor V's wishes and avoid adding more wounds.
- The author reflects on family estrangement, comparing it to a childhood incident where she was covered in mud and blood, feeling that the pain and dirt of the situation permeated everything.
- The difficulty of fixing deep family rifts is contrasted with the author's earlier belief that words would always be the solution.