health
I want sex more often than my husband does – what can we do?
It sounds like you both see sex the same way, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith – and perhaps that’s part of the problem
TL;DR
- A woman married for five years feels her sex life has died due to her husband's low energy and performance issues, despite his assurances of desire.
- The husband's stress, running habits, and lack of sexual energy have led the wife to feel deprioritized and rejected.
- Advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith suggests the core issue might be how each partner conceptualizes "sex," rather than simply having different libidos.
- If sex is viewed as a "test of performance" or an "opportunity to fail" by one partner, it can hinder desire.
- The goal is to redefine "sex" to be a shared experience of desire, cherishing, and erotic discovery, rather than a performance-based activity.