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April 24, 2026

7 'red flag' phrases manipulators use to get what they want—they sound 'nice' and 'kind' at first, say communication experts

Manipulators often use subtle phrases that sound kind but are actually forms of gaslighting, love bombing, and emotional control. Communication experts Kathy and Ross Petras share how to spot red flags early.

7 'red flag' phrases manipulators use to get what they want—they sound 'nice' and 'kind' at first, say communication experts

TL;DR

  • Manipulators use words strategically to influence beliefs.
  • Recognizing common manipulative phrases can help in spotting them.
  • Fake apologies like 'I'm sorry you're so upset' often precede blame or invalidation.
  • 'Love bombing' phrases, like 'I know we've only known each other a short time, but...', are used for early influence that can shift to control.
  • Phrases such as 'We don't need anyone but each other' are used to isolate and create dependency.
  • 'I'm only saying this because I care so much about you' can disguise criticism as care.
  • Concern for well-being, like 'Are you okay? I'm worried about you,' can be a form of gaslighting to make you question reality.
  • Discouraging relationships with others, like 'I'm not sure [friend/family member/co-worker] has your best interests at heart,' aims to make you reliant on the manipulator's perspective.
  • Seemingly accepting phrases like 'If that's what you want to do, go ahead' can be a setup for a guilt trip.

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