health
February 13, 2026
'My ex was crazy': If your date uses any of these phrases, it’s a red flag, says dating coach
These phrases "warrant declining a second date," says dating coach Erika Ettin. "Pay attention and act accordingly."

TL;DR
- A red flag is a universal, character-based issue like dishonesty, lack of empathy, disrespect, manipulation, or anything compromising safety.
- Phrases like blaming an ex for a breakup signal a lack of accountability, social awareness, or unresolved bitterness.
- Statements such as 'I've never dated a [race/ethnicity/religion] person before' can make someone feel they represent an entire group.
- The phrase 'I'm not looking for anything serious right now' should be taken seriously, potentially meaning 'ever' or 'with you'.
- A date who states payment is conditional on a second date exhibits a transactional attitude.
- These red flags warrant declining a second date, not necessarily leaving a date early.
- When declining a second date, use a polite but clear statement like, 'Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection I'm looking for, but I wish you all the best.'
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