health
My partner's mum is cruel towards him and I worry how she’ll be with our future kids
She sounds awful and I would absolutely minimise her contact with any children you do have unless she radically changes
TL;DR
- The author's partner's mother is described as cruel, criticizing him for innocuous things and calling him useless.
- The mother's behavior causes the partner to sink into depression for at least a week, and he defends her, attributing it to grief.
- The author worries about the mother's potential impact on their future children and the irrational fear of having a child who resembles her.
- Psychotherapist Julia Bueno identifies the mother's behavior as potentially abusive and emotionally destructive, linked to shame and worthlessness.
- Bueno advises the partner to internally accept his mother's behavior and then establish external and internal boundaries, possibly requiring therapy.
- The author is encouraged to reconsider her future with her partner if he cannot or will not address his mother's behavior and set boundaries.