health
February 9, 2026
We offered my friend a room to help her out, but four years later she’s still living with us
You need to check where you stand legally, but I fear you’re being taken advantage of and will have to ask her to leave
TL;DR
- The author offered her friend a place to stay with no written agreement, expecting her to move out in six months to a year after retraining or saving for her own home.
- After nearly four years, the friend has not retrained, found a new job, or saved for a new place, and continues to pay £350 per month towards expenses.
- The homeowner feels trapped, resentful, and guilty, experiencing a strained friendship with a parent-child dynamic.
- Legal advice suggests the payment is for expenses and doesn't grant the friend equity or indefinite rights to stay.
- Psychological advice highlights the homeowner's guilt and over-empathy as potential reasons for the dilemma and encourages initiating an adult conversation to set boundaries.
- The advice concludes that the homeowner must be clear, tough, and decisive, setting an adequate notice period without apologies or justifications, to resolve the situation.
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