health

April 29, 2026

A moment that changed me: I cried about my cleft lip for the first time in my 60s

When I saw a woman with a facial difference like mine at a party, I crossed the room to speak to her. It led to one of the most joyous, exciting and transformative discussions, in which I connected with feelings I’d always ignored

A moment that changed me: I cried about my cleft lip for the first time in my 60s

TL;DR

  • The author, born with a cleft lip, avoided discussing its impact for over 60 years, feeling disconnected from the cleft community.
  • A chance meeting with a woman named Rose, who also has a cleft, led to a profound and emotional conversation about their shared experiences and insecurities.
  • This dialogue allowed the author to connect with feelings he had long ignored, facilitating a significant emotional release and self-acceptance.
  • Past surgeries and scar tissue led him to believe he was 'done' with his cleft, causing him to 'ghost' himself and the community.
  • The experience prompted him to seek therapy, where he realized how his cleft might have influenced his life choices, leading to missed opportunities.
  • He became involved with Smile Train, a cleft care nonprofit, where he met Rose, realizing he wasn't alone in his insecurities.
  • The conversation with Rose helped him build a bridge to his past and find a way forward, enabling him to talk more freely with loved ones.

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