‘There’s no such thing as normal’: 13 essential lessons about sex
The Guardian’s sex advice columnist has answered countless questions over the last two decades. As the column ends, here’s what has struck and surprised her
TL;DR
- Many people struggle to discuss sex openly, often due to guilt or lack of education about its healthiness.
- Low desire, particularly when partners have mismatched libidos, remains the most common and persistent issue.
- Increasingly, people separate casual sex from deeper intimacy, finding it difficult to transition to long-term relationships.
- Understanding and being honest about one's own sexual needs, rather than conforming to societal expectations, is crucial.
- There is no single 'normal' when it comes to sexuality; a wide range of experiences exist.
- The female orgasm, particularly clitoral stimulation, is still misunderstood by some.
- Societal acceptance of gender identity, kink (like BDSM), and polyamorous relationships has increased over the years.
- The internet and dating apps have significantly changed sexual exploration, sometimes leading to unrealistic expectations and a focus on casual hook-ups.
- Sexuality continues throughout life, with more older individuals expressing their continued sexual being.
- Various factors beyond relationships, including neurodiversity, health conditions, medication, and mental health, can significantly impact sexual experiences.