I've studied over 200 kids—here's the No. 1 'magic phrase' that truly teaches kids emotional intelligence
Parents often ask “What’s wrong?” when a child is upset. But Reem Raouda, a child psychologist who has studied more than 200 child-parent relationships, says parents who raise the most emotionally intelligent kids use one key phrase.
TL;DR
- The question "What's wrong?" can shut children down, hindering emotional intelligence development.
- The phrase "Tell me what feels hard right now" helps children pause, reflect, and communicate more openly.
- This phrase reduces defensiveness, allows emotional language to develop organically, and establishes emotional safety.
- It gives children agency over what they share, helps calm the nervous system, and normalizes emotions.
- Parents demonstrating emotional intelligence by responding with calm curiosity models valuable skills for children.