health

I’m a psychologist who studies couples: People in emotionally secure relationships do 5 things every day—that most neglect

Emotional security comes down to how a couple handles conflict, independence, boredom and doubt over time. Mark Travers, a psychologist who studies couples, shares the habits of people in emotionally secure relationships.

I’m a psychologist who studies couples: People in emotionally secure relationships do 5 things every day—that most neglect

TL;DR

  • Secure couples resolve conflicts by addressing issues directly, acknowledging feelings, admitting faults, and ensuring both partners feel heard and respected.
  • They allow each other autonomy, supporting separate activities and friendships, recognizing that individuality enhances the relationship.
  • Secure partners resist the urge to assume their partner's feelings, preferring to ask and listen.
  • They accept periods of boredom or monotony as signs of stability rather than a lack of the 'spark'.
  • Secure individuals manage their own doubts without constantly seeking external reassurance from their partner, relying on observed consistent effort and behavior.