health
My father-in-law lives with my young family but I don’t want to ‘sandwich parent’. What should I do?
You don’t have to compromise your or your child’s wellbeing, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes. Whatever happens, you need better information going forward
TL;DR
- The reader moved her father-in-law into a granny annexe anticipating childcare help, but found herself caring for his health and moods alongside her toddler.
- She feels overwhelmed by the dual caregiving load and the realization she is 'sandwich parenting' unexpectedly.
- Eleanor Gordon-Smith advises gathering detailed information on the father-in-law's condition, care needs, and costs, as well as the impact on the family.
- She stresses the importance of sharing the caregiving load with her husband and seeking external expertise.
- Gordon-Smith suggests reframing the relationship to avoid thinking of the father-in-law as a child, preserving dignity for all.
- The decision to have him move out should be made with more information and discussion, prioritizing present needs over past commitments.