health
When women choose non-monogamy: ‘It’s an opportunity for more integration’
Though open marriage is often imagined as something men want, women also choose this relationship structure – with all its rewards and challenges
TL;DR
- Consensual non-monogamy is explored by at least 5% of Americans, with women often initiating these structures for reasons beyond dissatisfaction, including boredom, curiosity, and autonomy.
- While open marriage is often perceived as a male desire, women also pursue it, driven by needs for novelty and sexual arousal that can wane in long-term monogamy.
- The dating market for non-monogamy presents an imbalance, where women receive more attention, while men face scarcity and must 'justify themselves,' creating psychological and logistical asymmetries.
- Women in these relationships often take on additional emotional labor, managing their own experiences and their partner's responses to the imbalance, including jealousy.
- Non-monogamy requires couples to redefine loyalty and manage multiple relationships, often adding to existing domestic and emotional labor, with women frequently bearing a disproportionate share of the integration work.