How do I build a sense of worth that isn’t constantly slipping through my fingers?
We often peg our self-esteem on short-term goals and generic standards, advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith writes – but it’s what makes you you that others truly value

TL;DR
- The author experiences a persistent feeling of inadequacy despite achieving goals and practicing self-care.
- This feeling is intertwined with body image issues, where despite external validation, internal shame persists.
- Naming the issue of shame and the need for external validation does not resolve the underlying problem.
- Eleanor suggests contemplating mortality as a way to gain clarity on true value.
- Focusing on what loved ones would miss about an individual after their death highlights unique, idiosyncratic qualities.
- Self-worth built on universal standards and short timelines, like fitness or daily achievements, is often fleeting.
- Viewing oneself through the eyes of loved ones can provide a more accurate assessment of individual worth.