My friend has cancer and talks of ending her life. Should I tell her family?
Your friend fears dependency and wants to regain control. Is there someone you can talk to about your own feelings?
TL;DR
- A terminally ill friend has confided in the writer that she possesses a fatal dose of medication prescribed by her doctor.
- The friend sees these pills as a way to maintain control over her life and death due to her debilitating conditions.
- The writer is torn between keeping her friend's confidence and the ethical implications of the situation, including potential legal ramifications if she were to assist her friend.
- A clinical psychologist, Andrew Balfour, advises that the friend likely fears vulnerability and dependency, and is expressing her fear by sharing this secret.
- Balfour suggests exploring the writer's own feelings of burden and anxiety, possibly with a therapist.
- He also proposes considering involvement of a palliative care team for psychological support for the friend, but cautions about potential increased anxiety.
- The advice given is to continue supporting the friend by listening and maintaining trust, as betraying her confidence could lead to her finding other means to end her life.
- The writer is also encouraged to seek support for herself.