health
I’m engaged. My sister is single and feels ‘behind’. What can I say to that?
How you respond will depend on who expects you to manage your sister’s emotions, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Is it her, or something you’ve put on yourself?
TL;DR
- A woman is engaged, and her single sister feels "behind," triggering her emotions around the author's milestone moments.
- The author questions whether to tiptoe around her sister or if the sister should manage her own feelings.
- Advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith suggests distinguishing between a person expressing feelings and expecting help or blame.
- It's important not to interpret someone's feelings as an accusation or an expectation, to avoid making the other person feel responsible for fixing those emotions.
- Gordon-Smith advises against taking on the burden of managing others' emotional lives or reshaping oneself to fit their feelings, as it is not fair and can harm relationships.