health
I asked my husband for five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact. It was harder than expected
A happiness researcher called prolonged eye contact ‘the best thing ever’, claiming it can bring couples closer. Does it really work?
TL;DR
- Happiness researcher Arthur C Brooks suggests spending five minutes of eye contact with a partner nightly to strengthen the relationship.
- A 2015 New York Times essay detailed a study where asking personal questions and then staring into each other's eyes for four minutes led to increased intimacy.
- Eye contact activates the brain's social and emotional circuitry, potentially causing states of arousal like fear or excitement.
- Experts state eye contact signals engagement and can make partners feel seen and valued, but it can also be difficult for those with trauma or from different cultural backgrounds.
- Sustained eye contact removes distractions and increases intimacy, and the vulnerability shared can strengthen trust.
- An experiment with uninterrupted four-minute eye contact between the author and her husband initially felt activating but eventually led to relaxation and a feeling of closeness.