‘They’re taught that showing feelings is shameful’: eight reasons men don’t go to therapy
A clinical psychologist on why men still don’t seek help for their mental health
TL;DR
- Men are often action-oriented rather than verbal, finding it harder to express distress directly.
- Therapy services can be perceived as 'feminized,' emphasizing direct emotional talk which may be uncomfortable for men.
- Showing vulnerability can be seen as risky in male social hierarchies, leading to shame and fear of status loss.
- The cultural legacy of 'men going it alone' makes admitting the need for help difficult.
- Men may experience 'emotional claustrophobia,' tolerating strong emotions only in small doses.
- Men often wait until a crisis point before seeking help due to a higher threshold for action and a desire for quick fixes.
- A shortage of male role models discussing therapy as routine maintenance contributes to the stigma.
- Fear of uncovering buried pain or grief can be a significant barrier to seeking therapy.
- Therapy can redefine strength, offering a space to loosen control and name emotions without negative consequences.
- Supportive, side-by-side connection is more effective than instruction or advice when encouraging men to seek help.